I invited my girlfriend over to dinner with my family. My mom got sloppy drunk, grabbed my girlfriend and said “You know he wasn’t circumcised until he was 7, right? Did he tell you? #MNS
Drunk Night
Last night, me and my friends got smashed. I woke up with no eyebrows, a bald spot shaved into the top of my head, and a sharpie beard. I am going to look like a pathetic hobo clown for at least a week. #MNS
After a bunch of vodka shots, I let my friends talk me into collaborating on a tattoo design and getting it done at a friend’s brother’s shop that night. I now have a tat on my wrist that reads: “If you beleive”. #MNS
I got so drunk that I went to the 24 hour donut spot, bought 2 dozen, then left a $50 bill in the tip jar. I didn’t eat one donut before passing out. #MNS
I went out to a bar with friends. Drunk and trying to act like a baller, I opened a tab for me and a bunch of friends. Our total was $700 at the end of the night. Now I’m broke and rent is due. #MNS
This morning, I woke up butt naked on the floor of my friend’s living room. I have no idea how I got there or where my clothes are. His visiting parents are the one who found me. #MNS
I was going to my town’s performance of the Nutcracker. I had on a nice dress and really felt my best. Out of nowhere, this bum comes up to me, says “you are smokin’ hot baby!” then hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. I swear I could smell his stink on me for the rest of the night. #MNS
