Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for your grandmother to talk about sex, sagging breasts, and her pooping habits? I do…and so does my new girlfriend I introduced to my family at dinner tonight. #MNS
Events
I just turned 21 and couldn’t wait to go to a club. The day of my big night, I woke up with a 102 degree fever, and sh*t shooting out of every hole in my body. I could barely move. Best birthday ever! #MNS
I was going to my town’s performance of the Nutcracker. I had on a nice dress and really felt my best. Out of nowhere, this bum comes up to me, says “you are smokin’ hot baby!” then hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. I swear I could smell his stink on me for the rest of the night. #MNS
I was excited to go to my new boyfriend’s Christmas party, because I was going to meet his roommate and his friends for the first time. As I pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, I hit a patch of ice and my car slid. I hit his car, his roommate’s car, and one of his friend’s car. I was too embarrassed to even go inside. #MNS
I have to make 3 dozen cupcakes for my son’s class party tomorrow. I got a late start and rushed them a bit. After a good 20 minutes in the oven, I went to check on the cupcakes and see the eggs that I should have used still sitting on the counter. I had to go back to the store and start all over. #MNS
I have been hyping up the party my mom finally agreed to let me have for weeks. Everyone I knew said they were coming. Only 9 people actually showed up. We ended up watching a movie. #MNS
Against my better judgement, I allowed a friend of mine to bring her 2 year old son to my house for a small dinner party. After running around nonstop and making a mess of my bedroom, the kid got pasta sauce all over himself. I offered to let him take a bath at my house, since he was in no state to get in a car. The dirty little snot shit in my tub. #MNS
