Since I was getting over a cold, and not feeling too hot, I agreed to do other “favors” for my boyfriend instead of having sex. It was going fine, until out of nowhere I sneezed so violently that I bit him. He screamed and pushed me off his bed. He is still swollen and bruised. #MNS
I went out on a blind date with a very attractive girl. About halfway through, I realized that I had forgotten her name. I called her “babe” and “hon” to cover it up, which of course only served to make her more interested in me. We ended up having sex and she told me to shout her name. I shouted the wrong name. I had to walk home with a black eye since she was my ride. #MNS
I found out tonight through a mutual friend that my boyfriend is planning on dumping me some time this week. Why you ask? Because this girl I absolutely hate has promised to have sex with him if he does it by New Year’s. #MNS
My younger sister got caught with a boy in her room the other night. Even though I am a model student and daughter, not to mention a virgin too, my parents still took my door off the hinges too. Just as a precaution. #MNS
My fiance just got back from a weekend business trip. He was dead tired and crashed as soon as he got home. Being a good partner, I started unpacking his bag for him. In the inner pocket of the bag I found a box of 3ct condoms with only one condom left in the box. We haven’t used condoms in years. #MNS
My girlfriend told me tonight that she is 2 months pregnant and plans on keeping the baby. We are juniors in high school and she was supposed to have been on the pill. I’m freaking out and she actually seems happy. I can’t help feeling like I was set up.
Last night, I was hooking up with this guy. A few minutes in, he laughs uncontrollably saying something about me and a herp derp. Then asked if I’d mind turning the lights off. I later looked up the meaning of herp derp. #MNS
