I stopped by my grandma’s house just to say “hi” this evening, but she wasn’t there. I was surprised because she is usually home by that time. I called everyone in the family, but no one answered. I started to get worried, but finally my cousin called me back to tell me that grandma had invited everyone out to dinner. I just called my grandma to ask why I wasn’t invited. She said “I thought you weren’t into stuff like that.” What, eating? #MNS
A few of my friends and I decided to smoke in my car. We brought out my brand new laptop to keep us entertained. We were so high that we just got out of the car and went inside. Someone left the car door open. Thieves took everything, including my laptop we left in there. #MNS
Last night, me and my friends got smashed. I woke up with no eyebrows, a bald spot shaved into the top of my head, and a sharpie beard. I am going to look like a pathetic hobo clown for at least a week. #MNS
I am a strict vegetarian, and my entire family knows it. They always prepare special dishes for me during the holidays, especially the delicious greens my mother cooks. Last night I found out that she cooked the greens using pork and pork fat, and just always took the meat out before I got there. #MNS
I am currently sitting in my car in the freezing cold, desperately hoping that my boyfriend either answers his phone or calls me back. If I go back to my house, I’ll have to admit that I was stood up and it will be too late for me to go back out. I just want to see him so bad! #MNS
I got back home from my dad’s and celebrated Christmas with my mom this evening. Instead of celebrating like we have our entire life, she decided to do some stupid game she saw in a magazine, where we get random gifts and pass them around until the game is over. I didn’t get a single thing I asked for, my brother and sister ended up getting all of my stuff instead. #MNS
Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for your grandmother to talk about sex, sagging breasts, and her pooping habits? I do…and so does my new girlfriend I introduced to my family at dinner tonight. #MNS
